Pain is your friend—let me tell you why!

Humans have two primary motivators—pain and pleasure!

You are hard-wired to move away from pain and towards pleasure. Virtually every action you take is because of the these two motivating factors.

Somewhere along the line many people have become confused and have mistaken pain for being a bad thing, but in actual fact, pain is a gift!

Pain keeps us alive, it keeps us on our toes and when we can become a master of pain then it allows us to make the best decisions possible.

In todays society the pains most people experience on a daily basis are the pain of rejection, the pain of failure and the pain of disappointment.

These pains can be very motivating and they can also be crippling depending on how they are perceived. And what it really comes down to is are you a slave to pain or a master of pain. Do you use it as fuel or do you let it hold you back?

When I was 16 I told my family, friends and teachers that I was going to join the Royal Marines Commando’s. Only 1 in 1000 people who applied completed commando training. The rate of attrition was fierce and so no one believed that I could do it. I had shown no outstanding achievements before this so why should this be any different.

I was committed and I had no plan B for my life. My level of desire was through the roof, but it was not enough at the time. I passed the written tests but failed the interview, which to me was the most frustrating thing in the world-that some fat naval officer could sit there and decide my future based on his opinion of me after a 1 hour interview. 

I had no prejudice against him being fat. My annoyance was that how would he know if I was capable of doing something that he himself had never done before, so that is why I refer to him as the fat naval officer! 🙂

He told me that I could come back in a year and apply again if I wanted. I was so upset and disappointed at my failure and rejection in the selection process that I didn’t speak to anyone for 3 days. I went into my cave and after 3 days I came out and said “right that’s it!” My focus became like a laser and my level of desire went through the stratosphere.

Those three days were like an arrow being pulled back in a bow. The pressure built up in me and I saw the bulls eye and came out of my cave like a bat out of hell.

Over the next year I got a job in an outdoor pursuits centre and became a kayak instructor and also taught and lead many other activities as well. I trained like an olympic athlete, often to the point of vomiting and then carrying right back on with what I was doing. I entered 2 regional powerlifting competitions and won both of them for my age and weight.

Even if I went out on a Saturday night with my friends, I would run the six miles home in the dark at the end of the night to make up for it! I had an unreasonable attitude you could say!

After a year I went back for the selection process again. To my surprise the fat naval officer that rejected me the first time had been reposted somewhere else. I passed this time and was then sent for another three day selection process in the Commando training centre, which was mostly physical tests. 

Out of seven of us that travelled over from Northern Ireland, I was the only one to pass that three day intense selection process in which I came top over all out of 36 other potential recruits that were on it. 

This level of success carried on through my entire commando training and I believe that I have that fat naval officer to thank for it. My failure, rejection and disappointment, which was incredibly painful to me, became my fuel.

Pain has been a good friend to me, even if I haven’t realised it in the moment, and there is no event in my life that I can’t look back at with gratitude and appreciation.

Events will happen that will seem out of our control, but life is a choice and the choice is how we respond to events. I could have said that everyone was right and given up on my dream, and done something were I wouldn’t be subjected to failure, rejection or disappointment, but I decided to be a master of pain instead of a slave to it. It makes for a far more rewarding and fulfilling life! 

Todays power question: “What baggage has been holding me back if I changed my perception of it I could turn into fuel?”

Todays power statement: “There is a divine order at work and everything is working out perfectly!”

With appreciation,

Matthew Armstrong 
(The dragon slayer)

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“Our greatest fears are like dragons guarding our greatest treasures” 

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