Are You Killing Someone With Your Sympathy?

Few people understand how damaging sympathy can be. I sometimes get labelled as being unsympathetic, which I am, but this does not translate as uncaring!

I am unsympathetic because I care. Giving someone sympathy is like going up to the alcoholic lying in the street and giving them another bottle of whiskey. Sympathy only feeds the addiction and keeps people down.

Those that are programmed to play the victim whenever their energy is low, will feed off sympathy, but they will have no desire to get out of their victim role because they are receiving energy right where they are at. If they were to no longer be the victim, then that source of energy, in the form of sympathy, would stop!

The best thing to do for those that are in the victim program is to make them aware of what they are doing—and there is a way to do this without them putting up their defences!

The key is to use empathy rather than sympathy to connect with them and create rapport, because without rapport our ability to influence anyone is greatly reduced. They are more likely to dig their heels in if that rapport is not first created.

There is a jedi mind trick that can very quickly allow us to connect with the person that is looking for sympathy, without giving them sympathy and then turn them around and bring them to a place of empowerment.

This comes from using three simple words in sequence. Feel, Felt and Found!

Smithy says “I just lost my job, my landlord is breathing down my neck for last months rent and it feels like the whole world is against me!”

You say “I can appreciate how you Feel, I Felt the same way when I lost my job. I didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills and it felt like the whole world was against me, but what I Found was that as long as I acted like a victim my circumstances would never change. I then realised that when one door closes, another door opens and so I applied for as many jobs as I could and ended up getting an even better paying job with less of a commute.”

You can see from the above dialogue that I have empathised with Smithy with appreciating how he feels. I have effectively put myself beside him on the same path. I have also used his words to create extra rapport. I have then made him aware of his victim mentality without directly calling him a victim and then I have used an empowering metaphor and shown him a new bright path that he can take.

So remember: 

I appreciate how you Feel,

I Felt the same way,

And what I Found was…

If you have never experienced anything like what the person is experiencing, then you need to get more creative and bring a third person into the picture and how they dealt with it or use some other metaphors. Make sure you study the above and practice it, because it is powerful!

Todays power question: “How can I feel and appreciate even more love and gratitude?”

Todays power statement: “I take full responsibility for my circumstances and choose to create more favourable circumstances in my life!”

With appreciation,

Matthew Armstrong 
(The dragon slayer)

PS: Would you like to earn your income from the comfort of your own home doing something worthwhile, rewarding and that you love? To empower your life and start living your dreams you want to click here now and get started with us!

“Our greatest fears are like dragons guarding our greatest treasures” 

PPS: Remember to click here now . Your treasure awaits!